Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Tag Archives: suggestions

Odds and Sodds

I don’t care what the advertising blurb says; a Starbucks gift voucher would make a really crap Christmas present.

John G, Manchester

Shoppers: fed up with tax-dodging supermarkets getting free advertising at your expense?  Simply turn your ‘complimentary’ plastic carrier bags inside out next time you pack your groceries up.  That’ll teach the robbing bastards.

Sarah F, Bolton

I don’t know about anyone else, but I find the misspelling of the word ‘Sods’ highly distracting.  Not only that, it sets a bad example to young, impressionable children and future generations will look back on this as time of decadence and illiteracy.

Dave, English teacher at Highbury secondary school

To the driver of the number 60 bus who decided to drive off, just as I got to the bus stop after sprinting 50 yards to get there on time: you’re a wanker.

Adam R, Rochester

A well peeled baby carrot serves as an ideal prop to fool people into thinking you are eating a human finger from a distance.

Satan, Hell

To the English teacher complaining about the misspelling of the title, I think you’ll find it was used as a way of keeping the alliteration consistent.

Michael C, England

If you’re bursting for a shit mid-way through a long shift, simply rush back to the depot as quickly as you can.

Driver, number 60 bus

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