Join 1,256 other followers
- RT @TheTopoftheD: As the Women’s World Cup starts this week, I’ve written this for @TheHockeyPaper. I suspect it might not be as popular… 1 month ago
Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy complimented Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s culinary skills during a recent gathering of world leaders. He said that Benjamin would “Definitely be in his element if he worked somewhere like McDonalds,” as he “Has got a good eye for detail,” and can also “work well under pressure.”
Benjamin is “A man with big arms who could easily lift at least two bags of chips at once, maybe even three, during peak times,” and “If the way he uses his iPhone is anything go by,” the Israeli would have “no trouble at all getting to grips with the till.” In fact, he could “Probably work unsupervised within a couple of weeks,” and maybe even “Promoted to a two-star server before his probation period is over.”
Nicolas recounted his own younger days working at Le Garlic ‘n’ Chips where he was “Promoted to team leader very quickly,” and boasted how he “revolutionised things by moving the fryer nearer the grill,” so that it was possible to “keep an eye on the burgers and the chips when pouring a banana milkshake.”
Benjamin is “An excellent host,” but is “clearly not a fan of Monty Python’s Life of Brian.” A fish casserole was served up for dinner and afterwards someone remarked “That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!” Obama, Sarkozy and David Cameron, “All laughed and spent the next ten minutes listing what the Romans did for us,” whilst Benjamin “Just sat there with a face as long a horse.”
“He was probably more of an eat-out guy than someone who would sit in and chat with his friends”.