Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Tag Archives: nhs

Shades of Grey now available in paperback! Giveaway a la internationalé

Yo peeps!  Time for yet another serious post whereby I whore myself out and go all self-promotiony on you.

Right then.  Just over a year ago, some of you may recall that I published a book called Shades of Grey.  It was a collection of three short stories that was only available in smelly ebook form (Kindle, Nook, etc.)  Well, I’m pleased to announce that it is finally available in PAPERBACK form!  YES!  Down with all this digital nonsense I say, and onwards with pulped trees and physically vulnerable mediums.  Apart from WordPress, of course; blogging would be a right kerfuffle if was all done via papyrus scrolls.  Papyrus shops are a bit thin on the ground here in Blighty.

Anyway, to celebrate this truly momentous occasion I’m giving away a whole five copies to anyone who fancies one.  This giveaway is open to anyone, anywhere in the world… providing Amazon deliver to you, that is.  This goes doubly so for people in America as they buy far FAR more of my books than any of my smelly fellow Brits do.  In fact, my fellow Brits should count themselves lucky that I’m even allowing them to enter.  You bloody Brits with your wonky NHS dentisted teeth, daft accents, and the obsession with driving fuel-efficient cars.

I tell you, if I ever get rich and famous from this writing lark, I’ll definitely go and live in the US for a while.  I’ll be able to eat hot grits for breakfast and have melted cheese on everything without anyone batting an eyelid.  I won’t be going anywhere near their chocolate though, that really is ghastly stuff.

So, all you have to do is leave an email address in a comment below and I’ll contact you for your real address if you’re a winner.

For those that don’t believe I actually went ahead with this, it’s listed here on Amazon UK and here on Amazon US.  For those that still don’t believe me, here is a picture of the aforementioned paperbacks on my bed.  And yes, I did gather them up and cuddle them afterwards.

PS – although it shares a similar name, Shades of Grey has nothing to do with that erotic grot written by EL James.

PPS – for those wanting to know, I’m hard at work on another book.  I decided to dip back into historical fiction again, and it’s a story set in the Warsaw Ghetto during WWII.

John is not a very nice man. He works for the government. So who has tied him to a chair and what do they want?

James is a British soldier during WWII. Tom is a young boy with a terrible secret.

Three stories. Three very different people. All of them battling to survive.

Shades of Grey Real!

Underneath – my debut novel! Free for reviewers, blog subscribers and NHS employees

Phew!  After what seems like an eternity, my latest book is finally published!  Yes!  This is actually my very first novel, but the fifth book overall that I have written.  The synposis is thus:

Look at the person sitting just across from you. It doesn’t matter whether they’re a loved one, a friend, or a complete stranger.

Now look at their face. Are they happy? Are they sad? Or are they angry? Can you even tell?

How well do you actually know the people closest to you?

Have you ever seen the real person that lies just underneath what you see…?

Thriller fans will be utterly thrilled, as it is a thriller story.  If you are already a follower of this blog, then you get a free copy ‘cos you are special.  If you are a reviewer of some kind, please help yourself to a free copy and do a giveaway of 10 copies if you so wish.  Lastly, but most importantly, if you work for the British NHS (nurses, doctors, surgeons, support staff, etc.), you are also entitled to a free copy.  Although I believe in the spirit of the NHS, the current UK government seems to be doing its level best to destroy it, so this is my way of trying to give something back and showing some support.  Use the coupon code below to download the book, and feel free to share it around.

Thanks are owed to the lovely Chez Sasha for stuff about French people, and also to country girl Julie Rainey, comma chameleon Terry Tyler, book mentalist OCD Reader, Malibu advocate Melanie Cusick-Jones, and the blogless John Taylor for their immense help during the tortuous proof-reading stage.

Thanks also to the moderators of various groups over on Goodreads.

Recently these people have tagged me on their blogs – JR BarkerKaren Payze and Raebeth McGee

The book is available from Amazon US and Amazon UK to buy.  Those wanting to get their mits on their free copy can get it from Smashwords, using the coupon code below.

Code for a free ‘un – GQ36H

Cover for book Underneath

NHS staff still recovering from Prince Philip’s heart surgery

StablePrince Philip

Hospital staff at Papworth Hospital in Cambridgeshire are said to be “Recovering well,” ever since performing heart surgery on Prince Philip a week ago. The 90-year old Prince initially terrified staff when he insisted that “I want the same bed that the fat bitch from the Princess and the Pea had,” but calmed down after “someone retold him his favourite racist joke.” Soon after being introduced to the surgeon he voiced his displeasure at “being treated by the sort of soppy bastard that wears slippers to work.”

Ambulance crews drew lots to decide who would be transporting the Prince to the hospital with free counselling being offered to those who required it. Paramedics had been briefed to “Remove any jewellery and personal items that may have originated from China, India, Russia, Iran, Japan, Africa, Argentina, or Germany, so as not to upset the Prince during the journey.”

Sorted

There was a brief respite from the Prince’s barbed words once he was put under anaesthetic, but upon later waking up it wasn’t long before he was demanding that “One of you stupid bastards must have some gin or at least a few drops of port on you.” When an orderly asked if he needed another pillow the Prince replied with “Who let this spikey haired twat in my room?”

Although the Prince is now back at Buckingham Palace, he is being kept under strict observation. This has been met with indignant retorts such as “Are you going to stand there whilst I have a shit?” and “even without my glasses I can see you’re an ugly bugger””

Usually an active person, the Prince is often complaining about how he has nothing to do. “Christ, I’m bored… I fancy shooting something. Quick, someone call Fergie.”

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