Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Tag Archives: middle east

Q&A with the King of Dubai

King of DubaiHai, peeps!

Ever since I watch Peter Pan film, I been fascinate with idea of eternal youth.  Peter Pan never have to worry about get hairy ears and nose due to getting old, and he also able to get in cinema for student price provide he has valid student college card.  Downside is that he have to keep go to college and do homeworks, but I say is worthy trade.  Also, having beautiful fairy in short skirt follow him around is good bonus too.

Dear King of Dubai

I’m thinking of taking my family on holiday to Dubai next year, but the possibility of being kidnapped, beaten, raped, and then thrown in jail is a cause of concern.  Are these horror stories true?

My friend, I completely sympathise!  There are bad peoples around, so is important for tourist to think before leaping.  For instant, if wife wants to leave hotel then she at risk entire time she is in possession of a vagina so I recommend she leave it in reception safety box so no-one can touch it.  Also, don’t leave things lying around that might tempt hotel cleaners to spread rumours – if they find female underwears whilst looking through your luggage then you only have yourselves to blame if sniffer dogs find wife.

Is just common sense, no?

Dear King of Dubai

I’m considering building a massive new hotel out in the desert next year, but I’ve heard rumours that the workers are starting to demand better working conditions.  Is there any truth to what the doom-mongers are telling me?

My friend, I completely sympathise!  Is well known that troublemakers are making troubles out here in the desert, so is important to stay vigilant.  Some of enterprising managers have been handing out breathing masks to their workers, under excuse that it protects during sandstorms.  However, under Dubai law, breathing mask is same as muzzle you put on noisy dogs, so technically it means that all workers only have rights of animals!  Which is to say, no rights at all!

Is just common sense, no?

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