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Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Howdy peeps. Hope you are all enjoying your Christmas break if it is still going. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas break if it has finished. Mine is still going and I am enjoying it immensely.
Diligent followers of this here blog will know about the Dark Globe awards going on over at The Dark Globe. I am one of the five finalists for the Writer of the Year category and there are still two more days of voting left! Head on over there to cast your votes for the three categories by looking at the list of finalists here and then posting a reply saying who you are voting for. As of this moment I am just about in front but anything can happen between now and when the voting ends on the 31st December.
So, erm, get on over there and vote!
Seeing as I am in a self-promoting mood I may as well mention that I am currently updating my books. All three of them. Diary of a Dork and Shelter from Thunder have had their covers completely redone. Slaughter in Barnaby Close has had a considerable update to it’s content. There is still more for me to do and I am working on updating the content to Diary and Shelter as of this moment.
They are still free and they are in the ‘My books’ section at the top.
Yo peeps. It’s serious post time again and for that you can lay the blame squarely with one person: Becoming Bitter, a real girly girl with a large family who spend most of their time drinking and having BBQs on the beaches of the US East Coast. Taking time out from her day job as a ruthless Wall Street accountant, she nominated me for the Liebster Blog Award. Busy as she is, she wasn’t able to tell me this news herself and instead got her PA to fax me an email. Bitter, your PA certainly knows how to make good use of bullet points and for that she should be applauded.
Anyway. Liebster is a German word meaning ‘deer’ so I can only presume the award is something that originated from within the butcher and abbatoir industries, the only place where you can win trophies for having the nicest chopping block or for finding a face of Jesus in the intestines of a cow.
As part of accepting this award (I am far too vain to turn it down, especially when it is from a girly like Becoming Bitter who counts Harry Potter among her list of heroes and once confessed to having a crush on Gimly from Lord of the Rings) I need to nominate some other people for it. After giving it some thought whilst sitting on the toilet I decided that I would nominate the people on my blogroll. So here goes:
Spite Wall – Daily deliveries of humorous cartoons. The artist is a 320-year old dwarf (so he should keep an eye out for Becoming Bitter) who lives somewhere in Russia. The internet is rubbish where he is so he has to start updating his blog at least a week in advance.
Moose Licker – Nowt to do with animals, but maybe his ancestors worked in a butchers shop or an abbatoir, just the (jolly amusing) thoughts of some bloke in the US.
Kicking Sport – New to the world of blogging, this 88-year old former morris dancer is getting well stuck in to writing sporting satire. If he so much as farts anywhere near my territory I will cut his varicose veins off.
The Middlest Sister – I haven’t seen a blog like this before. This blogger has four sisters and she recalls parts of her family life here but with a twist – each post is played out like a cartoon strip and created with bits of cloth and material. The intricate detail in each post is very impressive and she spends up to two hours creating each one.
Whimsy Whims – A staggeringly insane lady who was born and raised in Leonardo da Vinci’s house, her witty and amusing posts recently earned her a place in the Freshly Pressed hall of fame.
Random Female Blog – Not a name to be taken literally, these two friends share and update a blog about whatever is on their girly minds. They live in Belgium, a nation so neutral and inoffensive that it isn’t even on Google Earth.
Phew, all done. Just so you all know this will probably be the first and last time that a picture of a heart appears on this here manly blog of mine. I did try to change the heart for a steak but my Photoshop skills are rubbish and Google images wasn’t much cop either.