- RT @TheTopoftheD: As the Women’s World Cup starts this week, I’ve written this for @TheHockeyPaper. I suspect it might not be as popular… 1 day ago
Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Hulk Hogan reviews a thong
Anyone else find themselves bamboozled by all the new technology that appears each week? Seems that every time I walk into a shop there’s a new mobile phone out or someone’s figured out how to put wifi Internet onto a banana. Crazy, huh?
Anyhow. The other day I was out shopping with the wife when I caught sight of some purple elastic things that reminded me of the strings I used to put on my favourite catapult as a kid. ‘Course, these ones in the shop were pretty large so it got me wondering how big modern catapults are and just who in the heck would be capable of holding one… and the only people I could think of was the tallest man in the world and Yogi Bear. You ask me that seems like an awful small market with little chance of repeat business.
Well, imagine my surprise when I realised that they’re underwear garments! I asked my wife why she liked them and she just shrugged and said “because they’re kinda kooky” without so much as missing a beat. ‘Course, this got me thinking again and I started getting all excited at the thought of biting down on one of these thongs and finding some chocolate chips hidden inside or maybe even a juicy raisin or two. I asked my wife which ones were the oatmeal type and she just looked at me like I was all crazy. “Kooky, not cookie,” she explained, in a way that made me feel about this small.
As a modern man I decided it was only right for me to try them out for myself and lucky for me the shop had a three-for-one offer; I got meself a blue one, a cheeky red one, and a yellow one that had a picture of a cute little rabbit on the front. At first they felt kinda strange but after an afternoon of playing around in the garden with the dog I’ve started getting used to them. Admittedly my little fella popped out once or twice but I don’t think any of the neighbours saw, thank goodness.
Well, I must dash as there’s one heck of a smell coming from out the kitchen; I think my kookys might be burnin’.