Michael Cargill
Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Justin Bieber’s diary
Posted by on 01/03/2013
Dear diary
Christmas was quite stressful for me this year, as I wasn’t sure if Santa knew how much of a good boy I’ve been. Back in the summer, I accidentally fell on a snail whilst practicing the Moonwalk in the garden. I was so upset that I crieded three times afterwards, and helped mummy with the shopping all week afterwards. I even had a go at making my own sandwiches at lunch, but I cut my finger and got blood all over the kitchen floor. I only did one cry that time, and mummy even let me have one of my favourite dinosaur plasters to help make it all better.
On Christmas Eve I brushed my teeth twice, and then sung Kumbayah to my teddies before going sleep sleeps. Santa usually puts my stocking at the bottom of the bed, so when I woke up and it wasn’t there I did another cry until mummy came in and showed me that it had fallen on the floor during the night. We then went downstairs to open the big presents, and I was so excited that I put my dressing gown on inside out! As the presents were handed out, mummy let me have one of the chocolate decorations after I promised that I wouldn’t be sick like I was the year before when I tried to eat the mistletoe.
I think Father Christmas might need to get some new helpers, as one of my presents was a strange blue candle that made a buzzing noise as if there was a giant bee trapped inside it. I asked mummy why it was called a Rampant Rabbit, and her face went bright red like happens when she gets cross if I don’t tidy my room and she said that it must have been given to me by mistake.
My other presents were much nicer, and I got Bugs Bunny slippers, some crayons that smell like chewing gum, and a Harry Potter wand that breaks if you bend it too far.
Crayons that smell like bubble gum? £10. Bugs Bunny slippers? £14.20 Michael blogging again? Priceless.
Agreed Addie :D.
You ladies AM THE BEST.
These Justin Bieber posts are still always the funniest things you do. I think you could put out a good humor book based on a character similar to this. By far my favorite segment you do.
It’s always interesting hearing what people’s favourite posts are, as it tends to be completely different from how I view those same posts!
I just like idiot innocence I suppose.
I agree with all of the above comments. This is another hilarious Bieber post. LOL! He will always be eternally stupid in all of our eyes.
Even when he’s old and wrinkly, he’ll be nothing more than a wee bonny child.
Hahahaha! I love these things.
If Sash is happy, I’m happy.
Unless I’m asleep, or at work.
Crayons that smell like chewing gum? Oooooohhh yeeeeaaah.
If you haven’t bought any yet, I’ll be very disappointed.
I am shoving several into my mouth as whe spheaak *dribble*
Why do I have a mental image of Bieber singing kumbayah to the teddies with Nicki Minaj in the background rapping the chorus for him?
Your posts make me smile :D
When a highbrow person such as yourself says such things, I can’t help smiling myself.
I was really laughing out loud reading this! My stance on Bieber is one of indifference, but this is too funny! Thanks
My dear, it was a pleasure to entertain you!
Dude you are still as funny as ever ;-)