- RT @davidwalliams: Matt & I in the first picture from our new comedy series ‘Little World’. https://t.co/gxPVfj2Y0n 1 week ago
Peeps who interviewed me
Trailer for Underneath
Trailer for Shades of Grey
Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Hai, is Pope here. This year, City of Vatican celebrates Halloween – Christ alive, it make mess! Someone used rotary washing line as prop for crucifixion costume, and now we need to buy new one. Using man on cross to scare away peeps wanting trick or treat was great fun, could hear screams of children all over house! One group of brave kids did make it to the door, but they turn out to be Jehovah Witnesses. I threw holy water at them, and they melted away. We took their sweets, and keep them for holy communion services. We usually use stale bit of bread for adults, but younger generation want chocolates. Of course, the sugar makes them go crazy so we lock them in cupboard until they behave again.
Popemobile is at garage getting repair, so I order washing line on webs of Internet. I no believe in credit cards, so use Papal Paypal account to transfer funds of three holy grails and silly, white hat I no longer use. Line is come from Hong Kong, so it take few days to arrive. In meantime, I dry socks on radiator and turn robe inside out when I give public speech. If I do speech on radio, I like do it wearing only my underpants. It mean I relax, drink glass of Schnapps and just talk about whatever. During advert break, I do many press ups to get adrenaline pumping, and maybe even do Tarzan impression.
At last, washing line arrive! Hmmm, this one made of stainless steel. That is good, yah? If going to make something from steel, may as well be one that no get bird poo on it. Oh, and it also come with spare cord. Spare cord is good, it useful for giving carrier pigeon place to perch on. We use carrier pigeon to communicate with uncivilised places that no have electricity, like Africa, parts of China, and most of Scotland.
Okay, washing line take about an hour to put up. Was annoying, but look how fast it spin round! Fireworks night will be much fun with fast spinning rotary.
I award rotary line top marks. A+++ would buy from seller again.