Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Border watch; possum denied re-entry to zoo

Blockedpossum

Barmy officials at a zoo in Coventry have denied entry to a five-year old possum despite the fact that he is one of their own and the understandably distressed marsupial has been left in legal-limbo ever since. “I got chasing a moth and before you know it I found myself miles away from home with no scratching post in sight. It was getting dark by the time I got back and if I don’t have my eucalyptus leaves before bedtime I start to get cranky. Everyone round here knows that.”

32-year old Chief Zoo Security Officer told us, “I can confirm that a bedraggled possum attempted to gain access to these premises at 0200 hours via the main entrance point. He didn’t have an appointment booked, no-one could vouch for him, and he was giving off an aggressive odour. He became abusive and started making a loud squeaking noise so we detained him.”

Rejected

The possum went on “I lost my security tag along the way as it was chafing against my arm. I kept telling my keepers that I have sensitive skin but they never listen to me. I don’t know what the security guy’s problem is he was always happy when he was feeding me peanuts and taking photos of me for his kids.”

Zoo officials have said “Anyone seeking re-entry to the premises has to get their hand stamped. It’s up to each security official to show discretion and in this case the possum was asked to describe what his sleeping area was like. Unfortunately, when we checked his cage it turned out some new bedding had been put down and his collection of half-eaten potatoes had been thrown away.”

“He’s already tried playing dead twice this morning as he’s a crafty one.”

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15 responses to “Border watch; possum denied re-entry to zoo

  1. kickingsport 03/27/2012 at 9:46 AM

    This is a chilling illustration of why you should always carry some form of identification with you at all times. He should have remembered his passport or driving licence.

  2. noonebutabloghead 03/27/2012 at 1:17 PM

    Always with the beaurecracy at these zoos. What happened to good old fashioned British COMMON SENSE?

  3. Lily 03/27/2012 at 5:06 PM

    Poor possum. People of authority can be so annoying. I can really relate to him. pS aren’t possums supposed to be really ugly and look like this?

    you picked the cutest possum picture.

  4. PCC Advantage 03/27/2012 at 8:19 PM

    “He has already tried playing dead twice this morning, he is a crafty one.” ~ Hahaha!!! How do you always end your posts in such hilarious ways??!!

  5. Pete Howorth 03/27/2012 at 10:22 PM

    Poor guy, I know what it’s like to chase after moths, sometimes ending up in another county. He’s better off without the zoo!

  6. Em 03/28/2012 at 12:21 AM

    My heart is broken, but don’t tell my face. I can’t stop laughing.

  7. Addie 03/29/2012 at 1:48 AM

    Bless it’s little heart!

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