Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Saddam Hussein reviews He-man

SaddamI catched my son watching cartoon called He-man other day. I watch it and I get disgust, it just American propaganda lies to turn all my dear fellow Iraqis against me so they not vote for me at next fully democratic Democracy Vote Day for Democracy. Also, why called He-man? ‘He’ and ‘man’ mean same thing, stupid Americans always say same thing twice. Just like they vote in president call Bush twice, they be stupid and fat from eating mutton rolls all day in Starbuck.

In cartoon there stupid floating thing called Orko, he look like towel and have stupid voice. His name sound like Orka, famous fish in Disney Sea World Adventure Park. See, Americans say things twice again, as they stupid and fat. If I ever met Orko I would hang mutton rolls on him using bits of string. He better be careful because if mutton roll touch floor and get dirty, I have him torture to tell me where grassy knoll is. I have done much research on grassy knoll and it weapon of mass destruction that CIA and FBI use to kill President of Kennedy.

He-man say he most powerful man in universe, but that not true. I see The Rock in WCW wrestling and he do jumps from ropes that He-man not do. I practice jumps on my bed and get injury when I slip on mutton roll and bang my head on floor. George Bush fax me email saying he is most powerful man in world, but that not true either. I fax email back asking how Simba in Disney Lion King grew up so fast when he walk across log but Bush say he not seen film.

I see Simba appear in He-man but called Battle Cat. Americans doing things twice again, as they are so stupid and fat.

21 responses to “Saddam Hussein reviews He-man

  1. Pete Howorth 01/18/2012 at 9:06 AM

    So he’s NOT dead?!

  2. AgrippingLife 01/18/2012 at 12:36 PM

    Was this an actual journal entry found in his belongings? If so, it explains a helluva lot.

  3. greatlakessocialist 01/18/2012 at 1:27 PM

    West is evil and lie ridden!

  4. No Blog Intended 01/18/2012 at 1:38 PM

    Battle Cat made me laugh out loud. I hope I’m not the only one. This has to be written by him – where did you find it?

  5. kickingsport 01/18/2012 at 3:55 PM

    If it wasn’t for filthy Western mutton rolls Iraq would probably still be like Eden.

  6. hardtosayreally 01/18/2012 at 4:39 PM

    Saddam’s Disney knowledge has always impressed me. He so right! How come Simba he grow so fast walking on log? Sharp eye, that Saddam. Maybe he now get second career as big hollywood film critic. If you disagree with him, he cut your stupid “thumbs up” directly off your stupid fat American hands.

  7. Lily 01/18/2012 at 5:17 PM

    Wait. How DID Simba grow up so fast?

  8. mooselicker 01/18/2012 at 10:55 PM

    Hahahaha love the ending there. You’re coming up with some great new characters/voices. You should totally be on SNL. Then come out for the opening monologue and say the show is over 30 years old and should put a gun in its mouth.

  9. PCC Advantage 01/19/2012 at 3:01 PM

    Hahaha!! I laughed so hard at “they be stupid and fat from eating mutton rolls all day in Starbuck”. Genius!

  10. BuddhaKat 01/22/2012 at 11:06 PM

    this was so good reading it was as good as if you were speaking it… great job buffing up your character… now shoot him, if you please… thanks… 🙂

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