Michael Cargill
Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Queen Elizabeth II replaced with robot clone
Posted by on 12/08/2011
Iron
Scandal has yet again struck Buckingham Palace with the news that Britain’s most famous OAP has been replaced with a “Ghastly robotic clone that is nonetheless jolly convincing.” Suspicions about Her Maj. were first raised a few weeks ago when she “Suddenly started winning the arm-wrestling competitions,” and developed a “new-found affection for cannonballs and motor oil.”
Prince Philip said he first noticed that something was up “When I first overheard her flirting with the cutlery.” Maintenance engineers were initially surprised when she started asking questions about the Palace showers. “She seemed really fascinated about whether we were in a soft water or a hard water area and what effect that might have on metal exo-skeletons. I thought that Wolverine from the X-Men might be coming to stay but it all makes sense now.”
Truth
Robert Willow of The Royals Are Aliens Society has said that “This is further proof that we’re under attack,” and it is yet another example of the monarchy being behind the times after it was discovered that “Some of the flowers at the Golden Jubilee were made of plastic.”
Security has been ramped up at the Palace and the paranoia means that “The occasional false alarm is raised.” One nervous maid passed out with shock when “I saw a tall, skinny zombie with a droopy face making strange noises in one of the bedrooms.” Everyone was evacuated and Scotland Yard performed a full sweep of the area.
“Turns out it was just Prince Charles stepping out of the shower.”
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What’s wrong with enjoying a little motor oil?
Honestly, you develop one or two new tastes and people totally overreact…
I wonder if it was an awoogatron model of robot.
Next thing you know she’ll be hitting up the Queen’s Consort for an oil change, though he’ll likely be forced to resort to synthetic.
What happened to the real Queen :O Is she having an early retirement?
She is training a squad of SAS blokes at the moment. They are going to re-take the US back.
Let’s face it … robots can do the their share of oddities.
The movement of the robots is very good in places. Anyone else reminded of the music from International Karate on the Commodore 64 whilst watching it…?
“flirting with the cutlery”. Awesome.
I reckon it’s what all those TV chefs end up doing.
Did Reggie Jackson finally kill her?
No way bro, she is immortal.
Was the replacement built by the same man who created Margaret Thatcher?
Maggie Thatch is a different beast entirely. No-one knows where she came from, numerous factories and workers just disappeared one night.
I bet they also were responsible for George W., as I am convinced he is Richard Nixon in robot form.
She suddenly wins arm-wrestling competitions.
So… the Queen has a hobby? Nice one. Queens should be strong to beat up their enemies.
Queeny makes hobbies out of other people’s life ambitions. Cure cancer? Take over the world? Eradicate poverty? They are small time hobbies to her.
Prince Charles mistaken for a zombie – nice. LOL
He is one weird looking bloke. If anyone should ever be used as an example of why inbreeding is a bad thing, it would be him.
I was reading this as I was digging into my daily bytes of food. 32-bits turned into 64 as I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
Delightful, mate!
Oooh, don’t say that you will only encourage me.
Haha, the last line was epic.
Hahaaaaaaa!!!
I’m trying so hard not to laugh!!!!!!!