Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Queen Elizabeth II replaced with robot clone


Scandal has yet again struck Buckingham Palace with the news that Britain’s most famous OAP has been replaced with a “Ghastly robotic clone that is nonetheless jolly convincing.” Suspicions about Her Maj. were first raised a few weeks ago when she “Suddenly started winning the arm-wrestling competitions,” and developed a “new-found affection for cannonballs and motor oil.”

Prince Philip said he first noticed that something was up “When I first overheard her flirting with the cutlery.” Maintenance engineers were initially surprised when she started asking questions about the Palace showers. “She seemed really fascinated about whether we were in a soft water or a hard water area and what effect that might have on metal exo-skeletons. I thought that Wolverine from the X-Men might be coming to stay but it all makes sense now.”


Robert Willow of The Royals Are Aliens Society has said that “This is further proof that we’re under attack,” and it is yet another example of the monarchy being behind the times after it was discovered that “Some of the flowers at the Golden Jubilee were made of plastic.”

Security has been ramped up at the Palace and the paranoia means that “The occasional false alarm is raised.” One nervous maid passed out with shock when “I saw a tall, skinny zombie with a droopy face making strange noises in one of the bedrooms.” Everyone was evacuated and Scotland Yard performed a full sweep of the area.

“Turns out it was just Prince Charles stepping out of the shower.”

22 responses to “Queen Elizabeth II replaced with robot clone

  1. noonebutabloghead 12/08/2011 at 9:54 AM

    What’s wrong with enjoying a little motor oil?

    Honestly, you develop one or two new tastes and people totally overreact…

  2. ian in hamburg 12/08/2011 at 11:16 AM

    Next thing you know she’ll be hitting up the Queen’s Consort for an oil change, though he’ll likely be forced to resort to synthetic.

  3. Pete Howorth 12/08/2011 at 12:17 PM

    What happened to the real Queen :O Is she having an early retirement?

  4. aFrankAngle 12/08/2011 at 2:19 PM

    Let’s face it … robots can do the their share of oddities.

  5. breezyk 12/08/2011 at 2:31 PM

    “flirting with the cutlery”. Awesome.

  6. mooselicker 12/08/2011 at 10:06 PM

    Did Reggie Jackson finally kill her?

  7. Adair 12/09/2011 at 5:27 AM

    Was the replacement built by the same man who created Margaret Thatcher?

  8. No Blog Intended 12/09/2011 at 10:27 AM

    She suddenly wins arm-wrestling competitions.
    So… the Queen has a hobby? Nice one. Queens should be strong to beat up their enemies.

  9. Becoming Bitter 12/09/2011 at 7:43 PM

    Prince Charles mistaken for a zombie – nice. LOL

  10. HaLin 12/10/2011 at 5:47 AM

    I was reading this as I was digging into my daily bytes of food. 32-bits turned into 64 as I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

    Delightful, mate!

  11. Raine 12/10/2011 at 5:13 PM

    Haha, the last line was epic.

  12. robpixaday 12/13/2011 at 8:39 PM


    I’m trying so hard not to laugh!!!!!!!

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