Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Ghadaffi’s son surrenders after running out of Coco Pops

FoundGadaffi son

Colonel Gaddafi’s son, Saif al-Islam, has surrendered peacefully in Libya after “Getting fed up with surviving on that Muesli shit,” and because “I really miss the awesome bacon and egg sandwiches that Dad used to make me each morning.” Saif, who had been hiding a cave, said that being outdoors “Was good fun at first,” but after a while “I started to feel like Stig of the Dump,” especially when “My deodorant started to run out.”

Recent media reports stated that Saif was captured, but he said “That’s a load of old bobbins,” as the rebels are “Nothing more than a bunch of cowboys.” More than once, he would be “Hiding under a blanket like those hobbits did in Lord of the Rings,” when some rebel soldiers would “Walk right past me, usually talking about Kim Kardashian,” and Saif would “Just lie there happily munching on a Twix until they went away.”

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Saif had access to a large stockpile of goodies, but “I’ve always had a bit of a sweet tooth,” which meant that “None of the fun stuff lasted as long as it should have.” Each week he looked forward to opening a new box of cereal, but “The free toys aren’t as good as they were in the 1980s. It used to be Star Wars and GI Joe stuff, but now it’s all Jelly Tots and Toy Story,” and he was disappointed to see that “The chocolate wagon wheels are smaller than I remember.”

Saif also admitted that one of the reasons he handed himself in was that “It gets really dusty out there,” and compared the desert climate to “Living on the bloody moon.” He tried to keep himself entertained but “My iPhone screen reflects the sun too much,” so he “really struggled with those later Angry Birds levels.” He also heard a rumour that “Apple’s batteries might explode in the heat.”

“My Ugg Boots are in tatters as well.”

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33 responses to “Ghadaffi’s son surrenders after running out of Coco Pops

  1. sami116 11/22/2011 at 11:09 AM

    Apple batteries… always count on them to wreck your getaway.

  2. Anna 11/22/2011 at 11:38 AM

    Wagon Wheels definitely are smaller than they used to be. If that’s not an excuse to go on a rampage, I don’t know what is.

  3. afrankangle 11/22/2011 at 2:38 PM

    LMAO … love the reference to dad making breakfast.

  4. motherventing 11/22/2011 at 3:05 PM

    It’s amazing that you manage to report on these things in such detail. And also that Saif Ghadaffi knows the word ‘bobbins’.

    I really respect you as a journalist-type person.

    • Michael Cargill 11/22/2011 at 3:14 PM

      Thanks, I should think about going professional.

      Remember that Tony Blair was always popping over to shake hands with Gaddaffi, they probably picked up the occasional bit of English culture.

  5. kickingsport 11/22/2011 at 5:59 PM

    It’s almost like when “Jesus” came out of “the wilderness”.

  6. PCC Advantage 11/22/2011 at 6:36 PM

    “…hiding under a blanket like the hobbits did in Lord of the Rings” when some rebel soldiers would “walk right past me, usually talking about Kim Kardashian” and Saif would “just lie there munching on a Twix until they went away”.
    ~ I cannot tell you just how happy this makes me….all the things that I both love and hate all wrapped up into one sentence.

    What an incredibly accurate journalist you are. I’m so impressed that you’ve been able to nail these stories before any other major journalists…you have such a gift. Use it well, young Skywalker… (<— clearly, I also prefer the Star Wars toys from the '80s…)

    Awesome post, Michael! 😉

    • Michael Cargill 11/22/2011 at 8:16 PM

      I am more than happy to oblige Miss Advantage. Your photo gives the impression that you are an elegant elven princess so I am quite surprised to hear that you like Kim Kardashian.

      I think a journalistic promotion may be on the cards for me soon, most of the existing journos are getting put in jail for the phone hacking malarky.

      • PCC Advantage 11/22/2011 at 9:57 PM

        As if you thought Kim K. was one of the things that I loved! Are you crazy, boy?? When I said that I loved some of those things, I was referring to hobbits and Twix…

        Thank you for your kind words (no one’s ever compared me to an “elven princess” before!), and I hope that I have regained at least some respect from you now that you know for a fact that I am not a Kardashian fan.

        The very idea of that disturbs me…to the core.

  7. robpixaday 11/22/2011 at 9:13 PM

    Haaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

    Ugg, indeed.

    LMHO!!!!!

  8. mooselicker 11/22/2011 at 11:07 PM

    Didn’t know his middle name was Al. That’s one name that transcends race or religion. We need more guys named Al.

    It’s almost a shame he was captured. He could have had a great reality show with Bin Laden and Saddam’s kids. They’d cause trouble and we’d secretely all know that it was scripted but pretend that their lives really are that exciting.

    • Michael Cargill 11/23/2011 at 8:29 AM

      Fantastic idea. There was a program on here in the UK years ago with Andy McNab, the SAS guy who wrote Bravo Two Zero. He would go off and hide and people had to try and find him.

      In one episode he nearly died of hypothermia, it was great.

  9. Lisa 11/23/2011 at 1:47 AM

    I’m really new at this stuff, and by “stuff” I mean going on someone’s blog. I wish all articles were this fun and easy to read. I think the photo goes perfectly with the text. He looks slightly nutty, right?

    • Michael Cargill 11/23/2011 at 8:36 AM

      Lisa! Welcome to my humble blog, I am glad you liked this.

      That photo looks like he is just getting out of a car. He could be looking at a bunch of paparazzi photographers hoping that they don’t try and get a celebrity upskirt shot of him.

  10. Pete Howorth 11/23/2011 at 1:06 PM

    Yeah he looks gay n all. Best he’ll love being shacked up in an all male prison!

  11. Becoming Bitter 11/23/2011 at 5:46 PM

    I’m going to be honest with you Kinky. I hate the news and I don’t watch it often especially on these matters. Maybe if -you- were reporting the news, I would watch it.

    • Michael Cargill 11/23/2011 at 8:25 PM

      If it was me on the TV the world would be a better place. Who cares about the economy when “Mahatma Gandhi hates fat people” is on the news?

      • Becoming Bitter 11/23/2011 at 8:42 PM

        No, I’m sure of it now. I would definitely watch the news if you were the only reporter. Btw, in response to your comment up there. I love it when people are afraid of me. It gives me some deep, twisted satisfaction. Your fear gives me power. Muahahaha

  12. DeeShrek 11/24/2011 at 6:53 AM

    Hi, you have been nominated for “The Versatile Blogger” award. Congrats!:)
    http://literallychallenged.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/the-versatile-blogger-ting/

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