Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Stevie Wonder ‘never called to say he loved me’ says childhood sweetheart

Fibbersunglasses

Stevie Wonder’s integrity is being called into question after an ex-girlfriend revealed that the singer repeatedly ignored her requests for him to phone her every night for a chat. Maxine Weller, who dated Stevie on-and-off for many years, said that although “Millions of people know him as the king of Motown,” his fans need to be aware that “Not all of his songs are entirely truthful.”

Ever since they first met in 1968, “He has never liked talking about his feelings over the phone.” The star often seemed to be “on the verge of telling me he loved me,” but would then pretend he had just stubbed his toe because “some idiot has been moving the furniture around again.”

Sorrow

The couple met in unusual circumstances. Stevie thought that he had “Taken a wrong turn and ended up on the edge of a cliff,” but it turned out that “my stick had broken so I couldn’t find where the path was.” Luckily, Maxine was “on the way to band practice,” and so was able to use her drum sticks to perform an “emergency repair after purchasing some sellotape from a nearby stationary shop.”

Maxine said that there were plenty of good times and claims that Stevie did a “Great robot impression,” that would sometimes have her “in fits of laughter.” In restaurants and hotels he would goof around and “pretend to mistake a fork for a spoon when eating soup,” or walk into a lift and “undo his trousers as if he was going to the toilet.”

“I don’t even get so much as a text message these days. All he has to do is download the iBraille app and tell me he remembers me.”

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6 responses to “Stevie Wonder ‘never called to say he loved me’ says childhood sweetheart

  1. kickingsport 11/05/2011 at 11:34 AM

    Such a bittersweet tale! Who knew Stevie could be capable of misleading his army of fans – he even went so far as to sing into a telephone in the music video…

  2. mooselicker 11/05/2011 at 2:20 PM

    Never knew Mr. Wonder had such a great sense of humor. Much funnier than that Helen Keller broad.

  3. robpixaday 11/06/2011 at 4:10 PM

    Like this? I love this! why isn’t there a “Love” click-button?

    Maybe he called to say he liked her?
    Nah…

    LMHO
    Wonderful post!

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