Peeps who interviewed me
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Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
European leaders voted unanimously to “Sort the Greek problem out once and for all,” during an emergency EU meeting that was held last night. After months of putting up with “Bald Greeks nicking all the best biscuits,” and never even bothering to “wipe the toilet seat down,” drastic steps are being taken to make sure they “Just piss off and never come back.”
An EU spokesman admitted that whilst “All that free hummus stuff will be missed,” the French have offered to “mix up a few more pots of garlic and onion dip,” to make up for it. “Remember that at one time everyone thought only the Spanish could make salsa sauce, yet now every bugger makes their own spicy tortilla dip. Us Europeans can do anything if we have enough meetings about it.”
Kinder, the company behind the Kinder Surprise confectionary, are handling the construction of the dome. They are still going to be making their usual products as “The dome is essentially a scaled-up version of what we do anyway.” The dome will be modular in design, with the components “Packaged into small, yellow egg-shaped containers,” which will allow for “easy transportation and assembly.” Pictures of hairy arms, student riots, and Trojan Horses will be stuck on the sides of the dome so that “The Greeks will still feel as if they are in their natural habitat.”
The recently vacated Libyan Desert has been selected as the building site for the dome. The EU said that “We recently showed the world that we can do good work in Libya by ourselves,” although they conceded that they still might have to “See if we can borrow some helicopters from the Americans again.”