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Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
I am Silvio Berlusconi, boss of Italy and major pervert
10/27/2011Posted by on
Hey ho, Anglo Saxy peeps. My name is Silvio Berlusconi and as real-life bona fide pervert I consider myself lucky to be an Italian. Not only do Italian ladies have very sexy faces but the police are corrupt and useless bastards, which mean I can do whatever. My favourite trick is to dress up as a park keeper and do a shuffle-walk around the park until I find a lonely lady on her lonesome. I will then say “Hello lonely lady, how are you?” and engage in short conversation whilst moving around so I can see down her top or in between the buttons of her blouse. I have experienced many fine examples of cleavage and side-boob due to my expertise in this area.
Usually I admire German people and race but their leader, Angela Merkel, looks like pig-dog. I would guess that her lady parts are very hairy and messy, which mean I get sick when flirting at EU meetings. EU meetings get very boring if I am sitting next to French boss Nicholas Sarkozy. I believe he is gay and that his strange face scares away all the children. His wife is jolly sexy though and when I make jokes with her she laughs like princess. I once called her a princess and she smiled at me. I then put my hand on her leg and she gave me look of death. I sent her flowers to say sorry she then send me text message saying to pisses off. I looked up French word ‘piscine’ in dictionary and it says is meaning swimming so I have bought lovely bathing suits for me and hers to go swimmings with some day.
I am off to England soon to says hello to posh twat Dave Cameron. There are some mighty fine ladies in Parliament Houses and I often stay hidden on balcony with binoculars to get good looks at fine ladies. I will carry tissue with me so that I can unzip my trouser and do what I call ‘cheesing the pizza’ if I see fine ladies in fine underwear. Many years ago I see Margaret Thatcher in underwear and I had to run to toilet to be sick.
I see now why she is called iron lady her lady parts look like steel wool.