Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Man stung during bee escape chaos


At least one man suffered a painful sting when “A bee landed on my arm and used its arse to stick something sharp in me,” during an incident at a bee factory in Kent. The man, a postal worker from Cambridge, was being shown around the factory when he “noticed a weird buzzing noise coming from a box,” and decided to take a look inside because he thought that “It was someone’s phone that had been left on vibrate.” Upon opening the box the postal worker suffered “the shock of my life,” when a large number of Apis mellifera bees flew out and started “Flying around the room.”

“It was like a scene from a film,” the wide-eyed Cambridge resident told us. “More specifically like that scene in The Green Mile when the big black guy blows the insects out of his mouth after grabbing hold of Tom Hank’s crotch.” Things took a turn for the worse when “One of them zoomed down and landed on my arm,” and despite “Begging him not to, nasty little insect hammered a spike into me with his backside.”


Tour guide Sam Wells knew something was up when “I noticed a member of the party was missing,” and panicked when she “saw the bald guy with the dodgy moustache opening the Bee Transportation Receptacle.” There was widespread panic and within seconds “all the women were running around screaming,” with it being “a particularly distressing time for those who had chosen to wear a skirt that day.”

23-year old student Mark Monday was mostly calm as “I’ve been to loads of zoos in my time,” and also “Thrown plenty of stones at bee’s nests in my time,” but conceded that “even I had a nervous few seconds until I put my hoody up and pulled the strings tight.”

It is not known how many bees survived the encounter.


6 responses to “Man stung during bee escape chaos

  1. kickingsport 10/26/2011 at 5:10 PM

    I’ve always been a bit scared of wasps and bees and this post illustrates exactly why!

  2. mooselicker 10/26/2011 at 10:41 PM

    I hate bees. I once heard a bee buzzing and developed a cough for 6 months. I hope he’s dead.

    I do have to say that the thought of women in skirts running away from bees is quite arousing however.

  3. Lily 10/28/2011 at 5:32 AM

    I lived in Kent for 3 the past 3 years of my life. This is a good example of why I left.

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