Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Gaddafi captured and killed in adventure playground

gaddafiPipes

Libya’s Col Muammar Gaddafi was captured and then accidentally killed during a tussle in an adventure playground it was revealed yesterday. Gaddafi, who apparently “Loved hiding in pipes,” was playing with some friends in a local children’s play area when “Some bigger kids came along and wanted to join in.” Gaddafi wasn’t usually one “To let people ruin his fun,” so he “put on his favourite red robe,” and “Politely asked them to go away.”

Gaddafi initially refused to let them in at all but then said that “They could use the slides if they wanted,” but aren’t to “go anywhere near the swings.” One of the other kids was especially disappointed because “I had a French exchange student staying with me,” and he had been hoping to “Show him the newly installed roundabout.”

Allergy

Although fond of playgrounds in general, Gaddafi hasn’t liked slides ever since suffering a panic attack a few years ago. It was his first time at The Blue Lagoon Water Park and he “Made a bee-line for The Black Hole slide the moment he got there.” The attending lifeguard told Gaddafi that “Although you exceed the minimum height requirements, military uniform isn’t suitable swimming gear.” Gaddafi ignored the lifeguard and “Jumped in head first.” A friend later said that “We don’t know what happened to him on the way down,” but when he emerged at the bottom Gaddafi was “as white as a ghost.”

The Libyan leader has been fond of pipes ever since he was a kid. When he was nine years old he was given a hamster as a pet and would “Construct elaborate mazes for it out of toilet rolls.” A few months later the hamster escaped and was never found. This made him very sad and ever since then “He has tried to live the life of a hamster.”

“Dying in a pipe is the way he would’ve wanted to go.”

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2 responses to “Gaddafi captured and killed in adventure playground

  1. motherventing 10/21/2011 at 9:46 AM

    That’s not how they reported it on BBC News. I’m beginning to question your authenticity.

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