Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Surfer takes ironing board by accident; doesn’t notice any difference


Gnarly surfer dude Fraggles Rock recently caused “Epic waves, man,” when he accidentally mistook an ironing board for his “Bona fide Maxtor G600 surfer extreme,” surfing board and didn’t notice any difference until he got a frantic phone call from his mother “Asking if I knew where her ‘board that she got in the Spring Sale at Debenhams had gone.” Rock said that he thought his surf board seemed “A bit heavier than normal,” but he put that down to “still being a bit stoned and tired.”

He met up with some friends and noticed that “The ‘board made a sort of clanking noise when I put it down,” and also couldn’t figure out why it “wouldn’t stay standing upright in the sand like it usually did.” He also thought that the legs were either “Bits of seaweed,” or “Parts of an old shopping trolley that had somehow got stuck.”


Rock and his friends then decided to go out into the sea and it was when Rock first lay down on the ‘board that he “First noticed the floral pattern,” which he was almost certain “wasn’t there the day before.” The change in vehicle didn’t affect his performance, however, as he “Has always been one to go with the flow, man. Whatever happens, I just improvise.”

Red Fraggle, Rock’s girlfriend, told us “his new ‘board really made a difference out there, the whole sea seemed to come alive. He had dolphins following him and doing loops in the air, the birds were flocking around him, and then all the fish baked him a cake because it was his birthday.”

“Hey, I’m out of weed. Can you sort me out?”


13 responses to “Surfer takes ironing board by accident; doesn’t notice any difference

  1. motherventing 10/17/2011 at 9:29 AM

    I am almost certain that this actually happened.

  2. Anna 10/17/2011 at 10:52 AM

    I’m so glad I found this site. All the other news channels just report lies!

  3. wordsfallfrommyeyes 10/17/2011 at 12:18 PM

    A great headline and a crazy story!! 🙂

  4. Ape 10/17/2011 at 1:24 PM

    Ignorance. A necessary evil when it comes to hydro.

  5. mooselicker 10/17/2011 at 9:28 PM

    I heard he made the same mistake with the iron and his gnarly cell phone. Now he only has one ear to listen to Sublime out of.

  6. Raine 04/07/2012 at 8:13 PM

    epic! poor mom…

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