Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

Underpants bomber set to be new Batman villain

Newbatman

DC Comics have revealed that the recently convicted ‘Underpants bomber’ is the inspiration behind a new Batman villain called ‘Underpants Bomber’. The Batman franchise is being taken in a completely “New and unexpected direction,” though things are “Still very much in the brainstorming stage with some blue-sky thinking still to be decided upon.” In the comic book world things “Don’t get any sexier than this,” and “The Underpants Bomber is the biggest celebrity to come to Gotham City. Ever.” Various other ideas are being thrown around such as “The Joker flying off to Thailand for a sex change operation,” and “The Penguin being a judge on X-Factor as a kind of replacement for Simon Cowell.”

A spokesperson told us “We’re currently exploring other avenues, such as a long-lost brother who turns up as, I dunno, something like ‘The Trouser Flamethrower’, or a sister who is ‘The Skirt Boomberanger’. Absolutely anything can happen, it’s that mad.”

Things

Batman has been part of British folklore ever since a ban on comics was lifted in 1786 and his popularity has been rising ever since. In the 19th century he became a controversial figure after one storyline had him marrying Napoleons daughter whilst on holiday in France. Half a decade later, Queen Victoria hailed Batman as “A hero of the British Empire,” after he foiled various assassination attempts against the Royal Family. One Christmas edition had Batman on the front with the caption “The Royals might be a bunch of Germans but they’re my Germans.”

The controversy continued when a villain introduced in 1888 called ‘John ye Slasher of the Immoral Ladies of the Night’ was blamed for being an influence for Jack the Ripper.

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17 responses to “Underpants bomber set to be new Batman villain

  1. April Trice 10/13/2011 at 12:56 PM

    Sometimes…like when I close my eyes,..I pretend to be Flying Florence McSwat-n-Stuff who silently smacks soccer moms and Baptist preachers with a pocketbook full of chewing gum and airplane size Golden Goose bottles.

    • Michael Cargill 10/13/2011 at 1:19 PM

      Oy Trice! I hope you aren’t trying to sneak your THWAP wand in here. I don’t allow the sneaking-in of exotic, foreign posts in this here blog farmyard.

      • April Trice 10/13/2011 at 6:50 PM

        Brotha, please. My Thwap Stick has been all over this here little blog farmyard of yours and you ain’t even noticed….with your fish stick and potato chip eating British self.

        • Michael Cargill 10/13/2011 at 8:57 PM

          Apes, seriously. You are making me look bad in front of me fellows here.

          Cut me some slack, yeah?

          • April Trice 10/13/2011 at 10:33 PM

            Daan’t get your Alan Whickers in a not,yeah? I’m plantin’ April Showers of intrigue and you’re callin’ them weeds. Do ya eat of the bloomin’ ‘aggus? Or is that the Scots?

            • Michael Cargill 10/14/2011 at 9:18 AM

              Haggis is Scottish, yeah. I am actually part Scottish but haven’t ever been anywhere near the place and don’t plan to. Culturally I am 100% English which means I view myself as being better than Scottish people by default.

              I am keeping my eye on you from now on, you are a crafty ‘un.

            • April Trice 10/14/2011 at 1:12 PM

              I’m 95% dark Irish. Does that make us natural enemies?

            • Michael Cargill 10/14/2011 at 1:20 PM

              Only if you live in a caravan and knock on my door asking if I want my drive tarmacced.

            • April Trice 10/14/2011 at 1:33 PM

              I’m not fond of travelling with caravans. I’m more like a one-man-nuisance who shows up on your doorstep with a hug and a pound of salami.

            • Michael Cargill 10/14/2011 at 1:44 PM

              Oh that’s fair enough. You can come right on in then.

            • April Trice 10/14/2011 at 1:46 PM

              Swell.

  2. motherventing 10/13/2011 at 3:22 PM

    If you’re going to be all ‘hard’ and ‘dangerous’ and try to blow some shit up, you want a better name than the Underpants Bomber. He is soooooo going to get teased in prison. Or raped.

  3. mooselicker 10/13/2011 at 10:02 PM

    Maybe that’s why Batman has Robin where those skimpy outfits. He’ll know that he hasn’t been double crossed and that Robin isn’t packing any trouser heat.

  4. Kymlee 10/16/2011 at 1:26 AM

    this was so funny. I mean. I thought the underpants bomber was funny. How not diabolical can one sound right? But throw in the trouser flamethrower and the skirt boomberanger and it sounds like a gang of michievious good times! Marvelous ideas. Just marvelous I tell you!

    You make me smile in the face. 🙂 <— see.

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