- Now that the royal baby is here, who gets first dibs on the placenta? wp.me/p1RBiE-ZJ via @MichaelCargill1 20 hours ago
Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Tag Archives: books
07/09/2013Posted by on
Although Abigail enjoyed train journeys, she hated it when there were busy crowds. The adults always towered high above her and their heavy overcoats wafted in front of her face, blocking out the light. She let out a sigh and wondered why no-one was talking.
After spotting a small gap, she squeezed into it to give herself some more room. The yellow badge that was pinned to her jacket ripped off and fell to the floor, causing someone above her to tut loudly; Abigail decided not to pick it up again.
She spotted a man in a smart uniform – surely, he must know where they were going.
“Excuse me,” she politely enquired. “Where are we going?”
The man’s expression was one of death. “Auschwitz,” he replied.
My new novel, Saying Goodbye to Warsaw, is due for release soon. Set in the Warsaw Ghetto during WWII, it is a story of tragedy and this is a little taster for what is to come.
11/06/2013Posted by on
Yo peeps! Time for yet another serious post whereby I whore myself out and go all self-promotiony on you.
Right then. Just over a year ago, some of you may recall that I published a book called Shades of Grey. It was a collection of three short stories that was only available in smelly ebook form (Kindle, Nook, etc.) Well, I’m pleased to announce that it is finally available in PAPERBACK form! YES! Down with all this digital nonsense I say, and onwards with pulped trees and physically vulnerable mediums. Apart from WordPress, of course; blogging would be a right kerfuffle if was all done via papyrus scrolls. Papyrus shops are a bit thin on the ground here in Blighty.
Anyway, to celebrate this truly momentous occasion I’m giving away a whole five copies to anyone who fancies one. This giveaway is open to anyone, anywhere in the world… providing Amazon deliver to you, that is. This goes doubly so for people in America as they buy far FAR more of my books than any of my smelly fellow Brits do. In fact, my fellow Brits should count themselves lucky that I’m even allowing them to enter. You bloody Brits with your wonky NHS dentisted teeth, daft accents, and the obsession with driving fuel-efficient cars.
I tell you, if I ever get rich and famous from this writing lark, I’ll definitely go and live in the US for a while. I’ll be able to eat hot grits for breakfast and have melted cheese on everything without anyone batting an eyelid. I won’t be going anywhere near their chocolate though, that really is ghastly stuff.
So, all you have to do is leave an email address in a comment below and I’ll contact you for your real address if you’re a winner.
For those that don’t believe I actually went ahead with this, it’s listed here on Amazon UK and here on Amazon US. For those that still don’t believe me, here is a picture of the aforementioned paperbacks on my bed. And yes, I did gather them up and cuddle them afterwards.
PS – although it shares a similar name, Shades of Grey has nothing to do with that erotic grot written by EL James.
PPS – for those wanting to know, I’m hard at work on another book. I decided to dip back into historical fiction again, and it’s a story set in the Warsaw Ghetto during WWII.
John is not a very nice man. He works for the government. So who has tied him to a chair and what do they want?
James is a British soldier during WWII. Tom is a young boy with a terrible secret.
Three stories. Three very different people. All of them battling to survive.
09/03/2013Posted by on
At last! It’s here! It’s finished! My latest book is now occupying the digital shelves of an online shop somewhere near you. And by jove, would it be thrilled to have your mouse pointer tickling under its nose.
All those months of head scratching, typing, formatting, the endless rounds of editing and begging people to help me with the proof reading… I’m sick of the sight of the damned thing. But it’s finished! WOWZERS.
And I’ll be starting a new one soon…
This particular story is centred around a teenage boy called Jake, and it’s all about the teenage insecurities that are bouncing around his head as he battles from one day to the next. There’s drama, there’s jealousy, there’s shouting, there’s tragedy, there’s… well, you’ll just have to see for yourself.
I’d like to thank OCD Reader, Weichu, and Louise Savage for their gracious help during the editing stages. Their delicate beady eyes spotted what my tired puffy ones could not.
If you’re willing to write a short review of the book on somewhere like Amazon, Facebook, Goodreads, or your blog then you can grab yourself a free copy from Smashwords using this code - JU97J
Jealousy, lust, and teenage insecurities are the lifeblood of any large school.
Loneliness can strike without warning, spreading through the cramped corridors like an epidemic.
Out on the playground, rivalries are formed from the pettiest of incidents.
Some people look at Jake in awe, others look at him with hatred.
Jake is just an ordinary boy who wants to be liked.
Jake wants to know why the girls never seem to notice him.
Jake is… well, he’s Jake.
01/01/2012Posted by on
Yo peeps! It is now official that I won the Writer of the Year award category at The Dark Globe Awards. So a huge thank you to everyone who voted for me and well done to the winners of the other categories. Also thank you to Dark Jade himself for going to the trouble of organising and counting the votes. Corned beef and onion sandwiches for everyone.
Seeing as I am here and feeling all soppy and gushing I will take the time to say ‘thank you’ to various people for various reasons.
Jenny Goth for being my very first follower and introducing me to Death Santa.
Earlier in the year Lilyincanada and Vixytwix both awarded me the Versatile Blogger award. Becoming Bitter awarded me the Liebster Blog Award and wrote a story with me as a character. I was dead a paragraph later.
Mother Venting for being just as insane on Twitter as she is on WordPress.
Aaaaaaaand I think that is everyone. Feel free to abuse me if I have forgotten anyone.
Update: A few hours after posting this I was awarded the 7 x 7 award by Dee Shrek.
29/12/2011Posted by on
Howdy peeps. Hope you are all enjoying your Christmas break if it is still going. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas break if it has finished. Mine is still going and I am enjoying it immensely.
Diligent followers of this here blog will know about the Dark Globe awards going on over at The Dark Globe. I am one of the five finalists for the Writer of the Year category and there are still two more days of voting left! Head on over there to cast your votes for the three categories by looking at the list of finalists here and then posting a reply saying who you are voting for. As of this moment I am just about in front but anything can happen between now and when the voting ends on the 31st December.
So, erm, get on over there and vote!
Seeing as I am in a self-promoting mood I may as well mention that I am currently updating my books. All three of them. Diary of a Dork and Shelter from Thunder have had their covers completely redone. Slaughter in Barnaby Close has had a considerable update to it’s content. There is still more for me to do and I am working on updating the content to Diary and Shelter as of this moment.
They are still free and they are in the ‘My books’ section at the top.