Agony Aunt Nurse Ratched

Hey there my little friends.  I have been away for a few months; did you miss me?  I damn well hope so or you will be getting a dog turd sandwich sent to you in the post.  My daughter paid for me to have a Swedish massage the other week.  The masseuse was a big, muscular guy [...]

Nurse Ratched returns

Hello once again.  These last few weeks have seen a rather severe cold snap hit the UK which means everyone has been turning their heating up to full strength.  Me?  I don’t need to waste money on that sort of thing.  I get a nice, warm glow every time I remember that there are people [...]

Nurse Ratched New Year

Hey ho people.  Yes, it’s well past mid-January so the year isn’t new any more but I have been away.  Been busy.  A band of gypsies recently turned up on a village green and so I was called in to help get rid of them.  It was a lovely little place actually and they invited [...]

Nurse Ratched in festive spirits

Good morning.  Everyone keeps telling me that it is the season to be jolly and thankful.  I completely agree.  It was only yesterday that I gleefully watched as an elderly person slipped over on some ice.  It is ample punishment for wearing such unsuitable shoes and hopefully they will learn a lesson or two.  The [...]

Nurse Ratched returns

Sup, y’all?  I popped to the hair salon the other day and Sandra, my usual stylist, was on holiday.  Holiday?  The cheek of it!  I had to make do with some silly blonde girl who kept asking if I wanted highlights in my hair.  She annoyed me so I slipped some bleach into the skinny [...]

Nurse Ratched is harsh and unfair

I was in the supermarket the other day and I was shocked and appalled at the amount of chocolate, sugar and honey-based cereals on display.  No wonder all the kids are so soft and spoilt these days, they are full of nothing but Sugar Puffs and free iPhones. Dear Nurse Ratched Someone keeps kicking the [...]

Agony aunt Nurse Ratched

Good morning to you enfeebled lot.  The other day I watched two magpies fighting over a piece of bread and it was a delight to see nature at work.  The bigger bird won and rightfully claimed his prize.  I would normally applaud such a display of bravery but once it was all over I was [...]

Nurse Ratched helps out

It’s me again, y’all.  Hope you are keeping well and that you remember my name properly – Ratched.  Not Ratchy, not Ratty, and certainly not Ratatouille.  If I catch anyone using a nickname for me I will burn your house down and record it for YouTube so your relatives can watch it. Dear Nurse Ratched The [...]

Nurse Ratched dispences her wisdom and experience

Hey, Nurse Ratched here.  So many of you have so many problems bothering you that I feel I need to help y’all out a bit, to put some steel in your bellies and fire in your hearts.  I once had a problem with a little dog doing little do-do’s on my lawn and the silly [...]