Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

The Pope reviews a lamb curry

popeHai, peeps!

Is Popes here and I have confess to make: I getting bored of Italy. Ever since I was child, I immerse in Italy cultures and Italy way of life. Was once source of pride to know that national sport for Italian men was to sleep with brother’s wife and spend all of monies on shampoo and hairsprays, but now I bored of same old same old every day and is time I experience new things from other places for once.

I start off by placing order for curry from nearby curry place. Man on other end of phone was hard to understand so I ask him his name in case I need to ring back.  He say his name is Trevor which no sound Indian to me so I think he telling me porking pies.  Anyway, food arrive 45 minutes later, deliver by skinny man on motorbike that make lots of noise but no go very fast. I was thinking of ask him if engine is about to fall off, but I end up slam door in his face as I no like his moustache. Already I have fun sample other ways of life.

Okay, so curry is packed into see-through plastic boxes which is very interest for people who like see inner workings of things. I remember I once had fish tank that was see-through, which very useful for watching little fishy swim to and fro. Unfortunate, I forgot feed fish and he suffer slow painful death like man condemned to die by crucifixion on top of hill.

There is two papadums in bag but I no sure what they for.  Maybe for frisbees in garden?  I pour curry out onto plate and it smell very nice.  Now come to taste it and HOLY SHITS IS SPICY AND HOT! Jeezy Chreezy Christ, how is possible to eat when it burn as if devil is crawling around and doing big smelly fart in my throat? Good job I have some communion wafers and holy waters ready for times like this.

Hmmm after few more mouthfuls, I get used to spicy taste – it seem that Italian culture of drink aftershave finally come in handy, no?

For some reason I feeling urge to get drunk on cheap lager and be sick all over someone’s shoes after finishing curry.  I think I save that for next week as don’t want to use up all excite at once.

10 responses to “The Pope reviews a lamb curry

  1. No Blog Intended 08/14/2013 at 9:43 AM

    Isn’t that a picture of the retired pope?
    Doesn’t mean he’s not good at reviewing though. And that kind of motorbikes totally pisses me off! It it’s no loud, please make it go quick, okay…

  2. M T McGuire 08/14/2013 at 10:00 AM

    Mopeds are the devil’s work. They should be excommunicated. Although they can go fast, one of my friends, he got one up to 90mph before they put the speed cameras in the Limehouse Link. He said he had to hang on for dear life but the people in the volkswagen golf he was overtaking did a double take as he flew by.

    Cheers

    MTM

  3. El Guapo 08/14/2013 at 3:35 PM

    Gee, the pope is a regular guy, just like us.

    I bet he puts his altar boys on one leg at a time too.
    (Too soon?)

  4. Pingback: The Pope reviews a lamb curry

  5. Sasha 08/25/2013 at 4:59 PM

    Alas, a good use for holy water!

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