Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
Q&A with Harriet Spinster from Mumsnet
04/04/2012Posted by on
Hi there sisters. Just taking a break from spying on my husband (SOMH) and enjoying a slab of my favourite chocolate (FC). Last week I let my guard down and the bastard showed his true colours again. He came home late from work – no doubt because he is having an affair with every slut in his office whilst I slave away looking after the house – and I made him cheese on toast for dinner. He thanked me and kissed me on the cheek but I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t grateful. I would have made him two slices of toast but there wasn’t enough cheese left after I had cut the mould off, but that doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t have hurt the bastard to buy me some flowers (IWHHBBSF).
The other night my husband woke up, went to the toilet and then came straight back to bed. He fell asleep again without cuddling me and telling me how much he loved me. It has been at least two months since he last bought me flowers. Am I being unreasonable in expecting that sort of thing every single day?
Mon Cherie you are not being unreasonable at all. Your husband is clearly a complete and utter bastard. I dread to think how many affairs he is having behind your back and you should ask for a divorce immediately. Actually, no. Don’t ask – you damn well TELL him you are getting divorced. He has brought all this on himself so there is no need for you to ask him for anything ever again.
The thought of him standing there naked in amongst an orgy of whores and sluts, pounding away for hours and hours, is too horrible to imagine. Just don’t think about it. Cast any thoughts of him laughing, joking and having sex with a woman other than yourself out of your mind. All those other women, they are all sluts. Bitches. Cows.
Honey I am so sorry. You should have a nice bar of FC and think about chopping his dick off.