Michael Cargill

Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.

George Lucas keen to dispel rumours that he is an anteater

ant eaterShock

George Lucas’ legal team was on a PR offensive last night when news leaked out that the multi-millionaire Star Wars franchise owner might be an anteater. A witness has claimed that she saw him acting strangely in a London restaurant at the weekend. “I was sat at my table when out of the corner of my eye I saw Lucas bend down and a long, thin tongue started protruding from his mouth. At first I thought it might just be a loose bit of spaghetti, but then it started moving around on the floor as if it was looking for some small insects.”

Restaurant owner Marvin Marv confirmed that his establishment were aware of the rumour and he wanted to reassure patrons that they don’t allow any animals in the dining area. When asked if it was true that Lucas had been seen scratching and grooming himself at his table, Marvin responded with “I cannot confirm or deny that at this time.”

Chew
Regular movie-goer Fran Rogers stated that it is a well-kept secret that something isn’t quite right with George Lucas. “For instance, have you ever seen him eat an apple? Or even a pear? If you look at the mouth of an anteater there’s no way something like that would fit in its snout, so it makes sense that Lucas wouldn’t try to eat one. And what about a satsuma? No way would an anteater be able to peel one of those.”

A spokesman for Rentokil stated that they received an emergency callout request from a London eatery at the weekend, but that they are still awaiting test results before being able to confirm anything. “I can state that we cordoned off an area once we discovered evidence of claw marks on the floor and on one of the tables.”

“We recovered a long thin ivory-coloured object that could be either a claw or a beansprout.”

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19 responses to “George Lucas keen to dispel rumours that he is an anteater

  1. AgrippingLife 02/15/2012 at 12:27 PM

    I always had my suspicions but I thought he looked more like a hedge hog, or some kind of woodland creature? Needless to say, I’m looking forward to the test results…

  2. Addie 02/15/2012 at 2:06 PM

    I’m going with porcupine. Bristly, irritated, fond of JarJar Binks. Yep, porcupine.

  3. mooselicker 02/15/2012 at 8:36 PM

    ”For instance have you ever seen him eat an apple? Or even a pear? If you look at the mouth of an anteater there is no way something like that would fit in it’s snout so it makes sense that Lucas wouldn’t try to eat one. And what about a satsuma? No way would an anteater be able to peel one of those.”

    Hahaha I love how this is what justifies him being an anteater.

  4. Pete Howorth 02/16/2012 at 1:34 AM

    Not to mention the fact that he looks like one.

  5. noonebutabloghead 02/16/2012 at 2:52 PM

    I’d never thought of it before, but I can totally see it now.

    Clearly you’ve done your research on this!

  6. Lily 02/16/2012 at 4:28 PM

    I think that we, as humans, need to do intense research on our species to make sure no one else is masquerading as anteaters. I mean, if you look closely at that picture of George Lucas that you put up, you can kind of tell that he’s an anteater.

  7. Pingback: Love All Blogs » the non-profit making, altruistic blog showcasing site » 20-02-12 Love Humour Weekly Showcase

  8. Addie 05/05/2012 at 10:32 PM

    I await your in depth study of Steven Speilberg. I’m going with ‘possum with him.

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