Regular updates of sarcastic and irreverent nonsense.
I catched my son watching cartoon called He-man other day. I watch it and I get disgust, it just American propaganda lies to turn all my dear fellow Iraqis against me so they not vote for me at next fully democratic Democracy Vote Day for Democracy. Also why called He-man? ’He’ and ‘man’ mean same thing, stupid Americans always say same thing twice. Just like they vote in President call Bush twice, they be stupid and fat from eating mutton rolls all day in Starbuck.
In cartoon there stupid floating thing called Orko. He look like towel and have stupid voice. His name sound like Orka, famous fish in Disney Sea World Adventure Park. See, Americans say thing twice again as they stupid and fat. If I ever met Orko I would hang mutton rolls on him using bits of string. He better be careful because if mutton roll touch floor and get dirty I have him torture to tell me where grassy knoll is. I have done much research on grassy knoll and it weapon of mass destruction that CIA and FBI use to kill President of Kennedy.
He-man say he most powerful man in universe but that not true. I see The Rock in WCW wrestling and he do jumps from ropes that He-man not do. I practice jumps on my bed and get injury when I slip on mutton roll and bang my head on floor. George Bush fax me email saying he is most powerful man in world but that not true either. I fax email back asking how Simba in Disney Lion King grew up so fast when he walk across log but he say he not seen film.
I see Simba appear in He-man but called Battle Cat. Americans doing things twice again as they are so stupid and fat.
So he’s NOT dead?!
He had loads of lookalikes going around looking like him. Maybe they got the wrong guy.
Was this an actual journal entry found in his belongings? If so, it explains a helluva lot.
Too many mutton rolls in your diet is definitely not healthy. I wonder how much hot yoga he did each week?
West is evil and lie ridden!
Only Saddam himself would say something like that! Where are you hiding?
You cannot attack me Imperialist lackey Yankee dog, I speak through the words of the complacent living now! Death to West!
Battle Cat made me laugh out loud. I hope I’m not the only one. This has to be written by him – where did you find it?
Just lying around, like. I think it was some early work back before he went around gassing the Kurds and making SCUDs.
If it wasn’t for filthy Western mutton rolls Iraq would probably still be like Eden.
Us Westerners, eh? Go around the place just smashing things.
What are we like?
Saddam’s Disney knowledge has always impressed me. He so right! How come Simba he grow so fast walking on log? Sharp eye, that Saddam. Maybe he now get second career as big hollywood film critic. If you disagree with him, he cut your stupid “thumbs up” directly off your stupid fat American hands.
Saddam had spies and informants all over the gaff. He had a Jessica Rabbit poster up in his bedroom, the dirty git.
Wait. How DID Simba grow up so fast?
Millions of baffled children ponder this question daily. Who cares about Scar and Timba? I want to know where they got that magical log from.
Hahahaha love the ending there. You’re coming up with some great new characters/voices. You should totally be on SNL. Then come out for the opening monologue and say the show is over 30 years old and should put a gun in its mouth.
Ha, thanks! I have no idea what SNL is though.
I would love to have a gun.
Saturday Night Live. It’s what cool people used to watch in the 80s on Saturday nights and what lonely people watch today on Saturday nights.
Hahaha!! I laughed so hard at “they be stupid and fat from eating mutton rolls all day in Starbuck”. Genius!
Welcome back PCC! Glad you liked it.
Have you ever actually had a mutton roll? They are jolly nice.
this was so good reading it was as good as if you were speaking it… great job buffing up your character… now shoot him, if you please… thanks…